A Day In The Life

The pain will never leave completely
It will always be there to remind you
To remind you of all that has happened
And that there was nothing you could do
But as you look at the pain of the past
Don’t let your fear over take you
Remember you can change your future
But it all depends on what you choose to do

Will you live in fear or learn from the pain
Living in fear changes nothing
The pain increases, hurting you more
Joy can no longer be found in anything
But if you learn from the pain
You can take your life and change everything

On my heart there is a wound
That never has been able to heal
Constantly being picked at
The wound grows and grows
The bleeding refuses to stop
Please quit picking at it
The pain goes numb
I no longer feel the attacks
Stop before the pain completely goes
I no longer feel the pain
Because you have destroyed my heart.

5/7/03

No longer able to trust
Keeping everything hidden inside.
I would tell you what is going on
But you would twist it to a lie.
The pain you have caused
One cannot explain
Numbers of people you have hurt
All they feel is pain.
I’ve seen the pain all too much
No longer can I stand it.
You bring so much pain back
I don’t want it, please quit.

5/7/03

Lying, scheming, hatred
No one can ever seem to love.
Stabbing me in the back
I thought you were my friend.
Apparently we are not.
Stealing all of my friends
You tell them lies so they hate me.
Trust, what is that?
Once again I have lost trust.

5/7/03

Always being left out, left being alone
The way you have been treating me
Is unlike before
Once being your friend and always included
Now I’m shunned and secluded.
I don’t understand it!
Why is it always this way?
I can never keep a friendship
For every friend always leaves me for someone else.
It hurts and I need someone there
Because I can’t trust any one.

5/1/03

It always seems to go this way
I try and then I fail.
I never do anything right
I don’t know why I try anymore.
I see myself as a failure
I’m never able to succeed.
I might as well just give up trying.

4/29/03

I was doing fine without you
living my life without you there
telling me how I am supposed to live.
Yesterday I got your picture
I see the pain in your eyes
you bring all the pain back to me.
Why does it always have have to be like this?
Why can’t things go right
and you be happy?
I hate seeing the pain
I want it all to go away.
I want us all to be happy again
like I have heard it been told.
I want us all to have fun
and not yell at each other.
I long for love.

3/14/03

I revert back to the pain
things I sought to forget long ago.
I fear what is going to happen next
His presence brings it back to me so.
I feel the heaviness in the air
and I hear him cocking his gun.
I pray to God that nothing happens
I’m frozen and all I want to do is run.
We get him out of the house.
Praise be to God, things were fine.
It is all over, but the memory remains
and the feelings I feel, are along the same line.

1/24/03

I see your love
And it always hurts
To see how love
Is supposed to be
The random I love you’s
Open my eyes
And I see the ways
A family is to love
I long for this love
But none is to be found
For I never had seen it
Among my family.

1/24/03

The door is closed and locked
hiding everything that’s within.
I cut off my life
letting no one in.
I long to share the pain
and release the pressures in my heart.
But I fear you won’t care
about all that has torn me apart.
So I hide all my pain inside
and everyday I lock it away.
For if I let anyone know
I don’t know what they would say.

1/24/03